"Trampled,
plucked and squandered away
By
dozens and scores each day!
We’d
see them not; we felt them even less,
The pain, and horror – of both mind & flesh!"
A casual scan of the some of the recent headline grabbing news items in the country
reads somewhat like this
-
Tehelkha editor accused of rape,
arrested
-
Asaram Bapu held for sexual assault,
son arrested for rape
-
Mumbai records 229 rapes in
Jan-Aug of 2013
-
Two held for techie’s rape in
Kerala
-
Teacher booked for alleged rape
of minor in Andhra Pradesh
-
Four men rape, kill a 31-year
old woman in Assam
-
CBI Director in the dock for
suggesting, ‘enjoy rape if you can’t prevent it’
This would
have been bad enough if these were news items that were to have shocked the conscious
of a nation over the period of an year – yet, even more shockingly most of
these ‘high-profile’ incidents have occurred over just a couple of weeks or
about a month!
And therefore, it shouldn’t and doesn’t, come as little surprise
that the one of the Time Magazine's top 10 news stories of the world is aptly titled – ‘India’s Rape Epidemic’
There’s no
other way to put it really, other than rightly calling it an epidemic! Looks
like we Indian men can’t hold that libido! There’s no state, city or even an inch in this country that
seems even remotely safe for woman. And sadly, there is little realization that such brutality is just way over what is
acceptable for a civilized society.
A civilized
society has just enough room to tolerate atrocities such as murder and rape –
while even a few is few too many, we can accept and thereby be willing to
correct or punish those who indulge in these crimes!
Sample this - a recent report compiled by the National Commission for Woman pointed out that
1/3rd of all woman employees in India faced one or another form of
sexual harassment. By what virtue is that under the limits of acceptability for
any civilized society?
The nation’s financial capital - Mumbai - is soon acquiring the
moniker of being the nation’s rape capital as well! With as many as 237
incidents of rape cases reported in the year until August this year. Delhi meanwhile
continues to have the numero uno status with 1,036 reported cases in the same
period!
That, by my
rudimentary math, is well over one reported incident of sexual harassment on each day for Mumbai and four for
Delhi. If I were to extrapolate the same for the entire nation, would I be too
off the mark to suggest we are raping and abusing thousands of women each year?
Even in a nation of ½ a billion women that’s way too much!
Still unconvinced?
Why not take a look at these numbers – the year 2012 began with a total of 13,221
registered cases of crimes against women across the country. Through the course
of the year convictions in these cases were a meager 3,563 while fresh cases
ballooned to 79,476. The nation ended
the year 2012 with 101,041 pending cases of crimes against women and by all
means 2013 must have added a hundred more thousand to that!
Why? Is a
question that stares ominously upon us!
Surely, this
is not just a case of a few men gone astray – this is an entire generation of young
men of this great nation who just can’t hold on to their horses!
Reasons peddled include sociological to economical to legal - all are
pertinent and all so relevant!
They said a stringent legal system would help,
but no! They said changing social paradigms would help, but no! They said
increasing income levels and employment should help, but no! Nothing has
quelled the raging thirst of an Indian man to lord it over a woman and nothing has
helped her hapless cause to be able to escape it.
Going back to
the case of the 237 rapes in Mumbai, if the numbers alone don’t numb your
senses then scratch the surface and it should! Most of the rapists were the
victims’ own friends, lovers and/or neighbours!
Read that again, and ask
yourself as a man if it doesn’t make you feel skivvy?
Or as a woman doesn't make you squirm
in disbelief!?
The UN
Population Fund states that close to 2/3rd of married women in the
India have been at some stage been beaten, raped or forced to provide sex! If
the same person who is charged with protecting your identity and dignity becomes the
predator who wants to just satisfy his carnal senses – by hook, lunge or slap –
where shall thou turn for solace or justice?
What is wrong
with us Indian men?
For a variety
of reasons we are well past the time and age of rationality! We are well past
the stage well a bunch of well-intentioned sociologists could redraw our social
athematic or a battery of jurists could re-align our judicial underpinnings to
find solution to this epidemic. We have to find individual solutions and find
them fast.
The fact of
the matter is that we have a terrific record of being able to pass the buck! Why
do so many rapes occur in India? – the list of reasons is exhaustive and endless
– from provocative clothing to Bollywood to the lack of policing and
legislature.
Seldom does
it occur to me – I am the cause! It never hurts personally, it never bothers
personally!
We are all culpable
– directly, indirectly or intentionally and unintentionally!
Whether we like
it or not we need to take a stance and one for the better, I hope!
In our
relationships with a woman we have to find the right balance of purity and
passion; reason and romance; and sense and submission! Each of those elements is
essential for every relationship – not necessarily in the same order or mix,
but certainly in one form or another.
We cannot
endlessly seek a momentary, blind pleasure in all our interactions with the
female specie!
The momentary, blind pleasure needn’t necessarily be of the
sexual nature – it might as well be of submission and subjugation – in essence
it is one of sadism! We’re filled, or worse, fed with a hollow sense of
machoism that somehow suggests that ‘its ok to grab from or at a woman if she doesn’t
give when asked!’
Our vision is
often skewed by a sense of a dominant male-ego that prevents us from having the
right relationship with our mothers, sisters, friends and wives! It is this
right relationship that will unequivocally determine our right attitude to the
women at large!
Imagine - if I can find
the right relationship with my mother, sister, friend and wife! I could prevent
that one case of abuse or rape!
And even if ½ of the ½ a billion Indian men
could do that? What a change we would have ushered into our society. A manly solution isn’t one where I have to be the guardian of the ladies in my life, its one where each one of us can stand up – as and for himself – and just treat the women whose lives we touche everyday - with love, dignity & respect!!
