Give me some time!!

Give me a moment, I wish to stand,

Give me a minute to understand!

Give me a second, and listen,

Give me time to clear my vision!!

Give me a day, to stabilize,

Give me a while, my heart cries!

Give me a moment, to reprise,

Give me some time to be wise!!

Give me a moment, of solitude,

Give me some space from this multitude!!

Give me the time, I wish so much so,

Give me the years, for I still need to grow!!

I have a dear friend!!

Deep in my heart, I have a dear friend,
Living this city, that knows no end!
Days to weeks to months, time moves on
Blink of an eye, even a year is gone!!

While ever so close he is to my heart,
A few miles of the city, are a world apart!
For utterly maddening, is life’s race,
That ibeen a while I saw him face to face!!

For there was a time, and that was then,
But now we’re expected to be grown up men!
Far from the playful, life now is a silly game,
Each to his own, trying to make a name!!

Often I vow to myself, “Tomorrow I’d call him”
Yet it turning that to reality, the odds are so slim!
For the morrow comes & goes
How it flew away, no one knows!!

Deep in my heart, I had a dear friend,
Left with memories, I am at the end!
For when I had the time, we let it go,
And now I’m wondering “how could I do so”!!

And yet, lucky me! Not all is lost,
I still have time to make up for the past!
To take a walk, to that the dearest friend,
The one who’s special to day this day, beyond the worlds end!!

The Prodigal Returns!!

Where was I, all this while?
Gone - far and away,
May be a million mile!

Do I deserve a return?
Or long gone,
Is the chance of taking a U-Turn!

Am I confused?
And scared,
Of being turned away and refused!!

For I don’t know what awaits me?
A servere backlash?
But certainly not a welcoming party I'll see!!

Yet, forever I couldn’t stay away?
Soon it'll be dark,
And I should turn around, while its still day!

Not sure if it is my best bet?
Unsure and trembling
In the direction of home, my sails are set!!

I'm worried over what awaits me?
Sweating, I’m unaware,
That my father still awaits me in glee!!

For wasn’t it His promise?
He guards not the ninety-nine,
But the one that’s gone amiss!

Surprisingly, whats the unexpected I find?
Love and care, warmth that awaits
For my Father is patient and kind!!

Inspired by the one of the most touching parables of the Bible - The Prodigal Son!

Six Billion, and Still lonely!!

Statistics tell us that we are over six billion people on the face of planet earth… a colossal mass of humanity by any stretch of the imagination. Yet more so than at any point in human history we are fighting suicides, divorces, wars, frictions, differences and isolation. It might sound odd… but hardly any of us manage a peaceful night of sleep given some or the other conflict that rages within us! After all, with so many people around, there is easily a chance you’d find complete peace somewhere, isn’t it?

A friend of mine recently quipped “one ‘wrong’ can wipe away a hundred ‘rights’”… though the statement sounded true, it also tasted bitter and disturbing. Yes, that’s how the world pans out no doubt… but just because it does, doesn’t mean that it’s the right thing to do! After all, how can the weight of 100 things be lesser than just 1? Why have we come to accept it? Why have we come to practice it?

The Bible says that when God created man… He said “it’s not good for a man to be alone”… now I know that it is an oft quoted line in Christian weddings but I trust God also meant more in a social way! He also meant that socially we were not meant to be species to live alone, live in isolation and live trying to find differences than finding common ground.

Yet today, sadly, we are more at odds with one another than we have ever been… the smallest of mistakes results in washing away years of good… the tinniest of non-compliance leads to a full-scale war! Whatever happened to the ethos of patience & long suffering! More and more it is becoming easier to find conflict than find peace, we seem to have now developed a natural instinct to fall apart than to have the desire to cohabit.

Why? I fail to comprehend… honestly and humbly…

I thought love was a universal need, I felt that we all wanted to be together! Yet from couples to families to societies to countries… and as per Avatar even the inter-terrestrial being cannot think of co-existing… conflict has become our need of the day, an intoxicant that we cannot live without! Some sadistic pleasures we have begun to derive out of being at odds with one another that we have easily forgotten the sweetness of togetherness!

God created one unified landmass for all of us to live in, yet we broke it into pieces, and haven’t stopped at that, we take pleasure in fighting over who lords over what? Wouldn’t it have been peaceful for each to in their own spheres - collaborate and support.

They say that when we share our happiness is doubled and our sadness subsides into fractions! How did we manage to forget this? And if we haven’t then why are our joys becoming meaningless in the face of conflict, and our worries rising in the times of joy? Need an example, here is one…

Which day does our country see the most security men on the streets? Yes of course, Independence Day… we celebrate Freedom by way of putting security checks, police forces, guards and guns… hello… did anyone forget that Freedom was about having none of those... wasn’t it about peace? The joy of our Freedom is robbed by the fear of a terrorist strike… our joy fritted away in the face of conflict! Our worries multiplied in a time we should have been joyous… you could dissect the reasons of terrorism at your leisure and pleasure, yet the bottom line is that we gave up peaceful co-existence sixty years ago… and we continue to pay for it!

Marriage vows said, that one took his spouse for better or for worse, it was meant to be a union unto death does them apart! Sadly, as long as things stayed in the ‘better-half’ (no pun intended :P )things appear alright, the slightest hint of ‘worse’ breaks all hell open! More than death doing people apart, the possibility of staying together becomes worse than death! How else do I explain factitious marital chords and ever increasing divorces!

So much for being a country of a billion Indians, hundreds each day find themselves lonely to the extent that they have just death to embrace as their final pillow! Where are friendships, courtships and companionships??? Why are so many of us lonely… in the maddening crowd of thousands, each of us is an island unto ourselves! Why?

The world is more concerned today about bonds in the financial world, while those in our personal lives are breaking up each moment! We might yet survive a financial recession, but what would be the stimulus when you are hit with a global emotional depression?

Think, for we are not too far from it!!

Need reasons? I just have Love!!

Someone sang not so long ago… “Love me for a reason and let the reason be love” and I always felt that it was one of the easiest things to do. Wow… isn’t it? Love because you love! Isn’t that easy… I’d find it mighty difficult if I had to love someone only after I had convinced myself of the 100-odd reasons I’d need to know if I could love them or not. It is certainly easier to just go ahead and Love - without reasons & consequences.

One of my favorite lines goes like this “too many things in our lives are done without passion - let Love not be one of them” and just because I use Love & Passion in the same sentence doesn’t mean it is Love of a 'certain' kind only. It can be any love… between anyone, anything!

Why can’t we trust that it can exist – devoid of its negative trappings and existing in its most fundamental & beautiful form! Love that is not about receiving but one that is about giving. Why don’t we take Love to be an honest expression of care and warm outpouring of emotion? Why are we looking for reasons someone loves us before we begin to appreciate the love they have?

We live in strange times, so strange that every step could count as a bizarre paradox. We try with all our might to achieve a few things but conveniently forget to celebrate the success of those achievements. We cry our hearts out for someone to listen & care, yet when someone comes around we only have suspicion to greet that move. Why have we - as people & society, become so pessimistic and negative in thought. Our minds are closed to the possibility of love; our hearts no longer warm to finding selfless care.

We all know it, we all want it… we yearn for someone to love unconditionally… yet cannot believe that someone actually does! So contrived are our times that we cannot believe that love can exist for the sake of love alone. Yes, there has been an odd calamity here, an odd mistake there… but as species I wonder if such pessimism is warranted. Our lives are so in tuned as “ends justifying means” agents that in everything we look for a logical explanation. And if there comes none, our conclusions are grim to say the least.

The Bible says that we are all made in the image of God, and it also says that God is love… even my poor mathematics tells me that if a=b and b=c then a=c… by which I can assuredly conclude that each of us humans are capable of love because that is how God made us. Of a love that is selfless, honest and true. One that is devoid of a selfish motive… love that is because of love alone.

Sad, that we have now come to believe that we are incapable of such love! And even more saddening is that we have shut ourselves to even receive some of it!!

Is this the state of our poverty in our consciousness that we cannot accept “Love whose reason is Love Alone?” haven’t we been looking for it all along? Haven’t we been wishing that we find love that doesn’t restrict our horizons, that doesn’t want anything in return, that wants to give, that wants to express, that wants you to know you are special, that wants to just love… no more!!

I feel deeply disheartened that our pessimism and cynicism is so entrenched that now we do not want to Love this way anymore; we rather not believe that such love can exist than having to justify its existence. Our lives & times are all about justifying the myriad ends; Love has become a task which is measured for its 'justify-ability'… I can no longer love, just because I want to love, I need to give reasons and so many of them… sadly, the world that sang “Love me for a reason, and Let the reason be Love” has now settled for “Love me for a reason, else don’t bother to Love”

If you care to Love, you must be ready to explain – why, how, reasons, justifications, relations... and I find giving so much proof… as difficult as I did to prove mathematical theorems.

Glad I was awful at the theorems, for I’m no good at a ‘Hence Proved’ love either!

"For I loved as I could,
not as the world thought I should!
The Love I had, I never hid,
And there wasnt any wrong,
In all that I did!

I loved, not looking for a return,
I gave, never waiting for my turn!
'Cos my Love wasnt for any reason,
It was just an honest care & warmth,
And it stayed the same, each day, every season!!"

My Silent Cry

Into the darkness of this night,
While loneliness I wrestle & fight,
I’m saying this prayer, with just YOU in sight!
Trusting you will accept, and not deny,
Hope you’re listening to my silent cry!!

I did strove for a different day,
Of delight rather than dismay,
But unwittingly I had traversed a wrong way!
And I hope you can see, the tears in my eye,
That you’re listening to my silent cry!!

I know my ways have fallen & are slack,
And deservedly I must take all flak,
Yet so trecherous is this smack!
Of pain I wince and agony I sigh,
I hope you’re listening to my silent cry!!

That I will mend and change, my way(s)
From deep in heart, I pray
Beyond this I don’t know, what to say!
Lonely, remorseful, waiting am I
While I hope you’re listening to my silent cry!!

Lonliness of Mistakes!!

I began to fill the emptiness that surrounds me
With the pieces of a broken heart!
I stood there by your side
Desperate for you not you leave,
Desperately clinging by your sleeve!

Yet, given that was my mistake,
And they never give a place to hide,
For Mistakes are loneliness,
Where I just had myself to confide!

And you looked at me to say nothing
Silence that tore us apart
Yet my folly was that I was wrong
And thus left to cry a lonely song!

Taken aback, and chocked!
If I spoke I was augmentative
If I didn’t, of guilt, I was admissive
I did neither, and I was called indecisive!

With tears in my eyes
And pain in my heart
I stood,
For that is all I could!

Can’t you see what this is doing to me?
It breaks my heart that you can stand there and not say a word.
All you want is go away
I’m scared – from deep inside
I’m scared – heart, body and mind

Nothing makes sense,
I try, I fail!
I try further, I fail further!!
I wish you tell me everything will be fine.
That everything will go back to the way it was.
That you love me and won’t leave me,

It’s my fallible moment,
It was my mistake…
To crucify me would be the obvious,
Why don you hold me back from oblivion?
For I’m searching for a place to hide,
And yet I find myself lonely
In the loneliness of mistakes, just have myself confide!

How to Train the Dragon in Me??? To love and embrace...

Watched “How to Train Your Dragon” a couple of times today, that’s apart from having watched at least about half a dozen times before, but then those of you know me, know that it’s not entirely surprising. In any case, its just not my fetish to watch animation that makes me love this movie so much, instead its the ability of these simple stories to pack profound lessons of life that keeps me drawing to them again and again.

No one could possibly deny the fact that Love transcends everything; it can mould anything and bring to peace amongst everyone. Yet, all it takes is that we employ Love as a means to resolve our issues - this the crux of this beautiful little piece of imagination.
It is quite so easy to dismiss Hiccup as the weak-hearted, timid, lad when he is unable to slay the Dragon that’s bound and immovable. Yet, it’s unmistakable that it takes a whole lot more courage, and conviction to sense a need (for love, forgiveness and restoration) in your adversary. And much more of it to be able to give all of that they need. Having had the courage to step aside from the well established path of trouncing your enemy to crown yourself in glory, Hiccup takes it further and charts a new flight of love and trust.

Indeed, to the skeptics it is all too easy for things to come together in fictional animated film. For the real world to them is an entirely different dragon – for an economist it’s an imperfect market, for a mathematician an irrational number, and so on – one that is not governed by any rules or conveniences that are possible in the fictional setting. Yet I would thumb my nose at such skeptics, for the simple fact that the world has come to what it has because of the fact that we haven’t used Love enough to resolve our issues. Dialogue is a long forgotten word; and Peace a long forgotten phenomenon. We have glorified war and competition at the altar success. Winning at any cost, glory bathed in the blood of your opponent (or your own, for that matter).

How long will we go on this way? How long before we kill and cancel each other off?? Is Survival of the Fittest the only rule we live by? If yes, then the survivor at the end would be left lonely… so lonely that he’d be alone to his own funeral. Why are we in such a mad rush to pin others down and put ourselves on top? Why cant we co-exist? Aren’t we social beings meant to live and let live? God made us this whole wide world, where everyone could find his square foot space under the sun. Still why are we gunning to take the other person down? Why have we built walls of mistrust and distance amongst ourselves?

Driven by competitiveness, we are just learning of each other’s faults, of each other’s negative side, of each other’s not-so-good persona… conveniently forgetting that much of this negative analysis is a out of our own paranoid imagination. Just like the Vikings - all they knew of the Dragons was “Extremely Dangerous” and all they wanted to do was “Kill at Sight” … such was their narrow vision, no one ever bothered to check the veracity of these claims. No one saw that the breathing-fire beasts had a warm side to them, for if Hiccup never tried, he would have never known.

This is what I learn, that following well established path of mistrust and competitiveness is easy, it looks macho and may be makes you feel brave… but in reality its paranoia that is ruling you. It is just a functional head on your shoulders which just gets on with the job like a machine. But if you really were to make a difference and reach out, it would take you a warm heart! It would take you personal strength – one that is not dependent on your weapons but in the conviction deep within. Employ this love and humanity, there is a better world to be made each moment.

For Love conquers everything and transcends all,
It moves all men, both great and small,
Give it a try, and try with your heart,
To see a changed world, change yourself for a start!!

"... I screwed up!!"

Across my shoulder, I wished for an arm,
Disturbed heart, wishing for calm,
A helping hand, to pick myself up,
For this was the moment I screwed-up!

I knew it was my wrong, my bad,
But it was the ensuing loneliness, which made me sad
For I only hoped to you’d understand
That this was the moment I needed your hand!

I slipped and I know, I realize
That it wasn’t my best moment of being wise
Yet it wasn’t that I purposely let things slip
But it was a fleeting moment, a momentary blip!

In moments such as these,
When condemnations comes with ease,
All I need is a helping hand, to pick me up,
And tell me, that it’s ok to screw-up!!

Lonely am I??

The moonlit sky and I wonder why,
The twinkling stars, are hung so high!
Lying on my back, I gaze the blackened sky,
Wondering and asking - Lonely am I?

The stars are gone, and the sun is high,
Flowers have blossomed, and the birds fly by!
I sit by my window and heave a deep sigh,
Wondering and asking - Lonely am I?

The sun on wane, and the dusk is nigh,
The blue passeth over, as crimson fills the sky,
I walk under the young moon,
Having seen another day pass by,
Still wondering & asking- Lonely am I??